The votes are in! A look into an American ESC Preview Party

As part of my last weekend before I head off to Baku (even though I’m still waiting on the return of my passport and visa from the Azerbaijani Embassy in Washington…argh), I decided to host a modest Eurovision 2012 Preview Party from my home in Minnesota.  Over bites of Italian arancini, German pancakes, Turkish apricots and Swedish cookies, my friends and I mulled over the forty-two competing entries in this year’s competition, giving each song a score from 0 to 10.  Most of my friends had never seen or heard the entries prior to our little shindig, and only really knew about the competition through what I’ve forced down their throats over the past few years. 

Here are the votes from Saint Paul (and their average scores, out of a maximum 10)…

  • 12 points: Italy (9.3)
  • 10 points: Denmark (8.9)
  • 8 points: Iceland (8.2)
  • 7 points: Sweden (8.1)
  • 6 points: Moldova (7.9)
  • 5 points: France (7.85)
  • 4 points: Ukraine (7.5)
  • 3 points: Finland (7.3)
  • 2 Points: United Kingdom (7.3)
  • 1 point: Slovenia (7.2)

Honorable Mentions: Cyprus (7), Norway (7), Germany (6.9)

(Technically, the UK and Finland were tied exactly, but as Finland received more scores of 9, it took the lead from the Hump.)

Bringing up the rear were:

  • Belarus (3.3)
  • Latvia (3.1)
  • Georgia (2.3)
  • San Marino (1.5)
  • Austria (0.9)

As I’ve mentioned before, I live in Minnesota, the home of the cult-classic show “Mystery Science Theater 3000”.  In that spirit, my friends and I tended to get our snark on while watching some of the Preview Videos (further lubricated by the amount of wine and post-Kentucky-Derby mint juleps on hand).  Here are some winning comments from the evening:

  • Ukraine: “Are you sure she’s not a drag queen?  I’m giving this a 6, but it would be a 10 if she were a dude.”
  • Austria: “This is so bad, it makes me want to give San Marino some points.”  “I actually feel stupider for having watched this.”
  • Montenegro: “The Montenegrin public had nothing to do with picking this? Makes me feel better about the Montenegrin public…” “I liked it, but that doesn’t mean it was good!” “Sounded like a prelude to one of my headaches…” “Donkey gets a 10!”
  • Israel: “This feels like an Israeli David Lynch movie…”
  • Russia: “I want to give them all a hug, and I wish them well, and when you speak to them, tell them I gave them a 10…but 3.”
  • Malta: “Too “Jersey Shore” for me…”
  • Turkey: “Sounds like the theme from “Inspector Gadget” performed at the Star Wars Cantina.”
  • Hungary: “What do the words mean?” “Dude, it’s in English.” “Dammit!”
  • Greece: “Can they afford benches in Greece nowadays? She’s resorted to sitting on her dancers.” “It’ll get stuck in my head…especially when I’m drunk.”
  • Albania: “This video looks like it’s been filmed in a cross between a museum and a bathroom.”
  • Cyprus: “It’s automatically getting a point, just because it’s not the last song [San Marino].” “This sounds like what I’d expect from Eurovision” “This is what a Kardashian would look like without a tan!”
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Posted on May 6, '12, in 2012, Personal, Special Comment. Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. Very interesting list from an American perspective. Surprisingly Jedward-free, I see. Thank you for giving Finland a spot!

    My retort to the comment about Greece: But if she could afford such fabulous shoes…!

    Sounds like a party I would have loved attending!

    • Jedward is unknown in America.

      • I realize that. As are any of the other acts. I just would have anticipated Americans paying more attention to the Disney-channel jingle, much like the Aussies did last year when they held their own vote, on top of which wound up those two weasels.

      • Keep in mind that Samantha’s partygoers were a pretty small sample size relative to the entire population of America.

        Besides, “Disney Channel jingles” really only appeal to the Disney Channel generation, and even then, it’s much more effective if the nominal perps are actually ON the Disney Channel.

        The weasels will have to succeed on their own merits in America. That’s what I keep telling myself anyway. So far so good.

        Just a little bit of trivia here as an aside: San Marino’s song is available in the American iTunes store. This is unusual for ESC songs, especially before the contest. I see no evidence that it’s setting the charts on fire.

      • Samantha Ross

        Iceland’s entry is also available for purchase in the US iTunes store! 😉

  2. Wish I could have been there! I am waiting to hold my own on the 26th. In the meantime, I am trying to figure out what dishes from this blog I can make: http://www.azcookbook.com/. They all look so good…

    • Samantha Ross

      Mmmm…spinach börek…

      It should be airing at 2pm CST on the day of the show…I’m pretty sure Ewan will be doing his downloadable commentary again, so be sure to check that out! 😀

      (I noticed your comment on Insight, btw!)

  3. Love this! lol I’m so jealous! I wish I could have gone. lol xD

  4. US American ESC preview party. 🙂 I guess there is still some hope for our crazy world …

    Enjoy your time in Baku, Sam. I will follow your reports.

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