Getting their entry into the EBU right before the deadline, Belarus has just released their official replacement for the disqualified “Born in Bielorussia” and “I am Belarussian”.  Imaginatively, it’s called “I Love Belarus”. 

Now, I love a dulcimer just as much as the next girl, but even that can’t save this one.  I don’t mind a song with a touch of national pride (as we see with the revamped Albanian entry), but when it’s coming from the last dictatorship in Europe, it comes off as forced.  This is a bit of an improvement over the songs that it replaced, but I can’t shake the indelible aura of “Stockholm Syndrome” that surrounds it.  Anastasia’s voice isn’t bad, and if given the right song, she could have done something really special, but I would personally be shocked if this qualified for the finals.

Hopefully, this means that the Belarussian soap opera will be over…at least, until ESC 2012!

The word “Belorussian” literally translates to “White Russian”, which is exactly what I’ll need after listening to the entry that the nation has internally selected for Eurovision 2011.

Now, in all fairness, the version of the song seen in the video is not exactly what we’ll be seeing on the stage in Düsseldorf.  The original version, “Born in Byelorussia”, will have its lyrics revamped a bit, going from USSR-romanticizing to simply extolling the wonders of living in Belarus, a nation known for its oppressive dictatorship.  “I Am Belorussian”, the new version, really sounds like an advertisement to check out a post-Iron Curtain state that isn’t really known for its status as a tourist’s paradise.  Or, evidently, its strength in English-language education.  (Lyrics to the new version are after the jump.)  Belarus has tried this sort of thing before, with Dasha, Alina, and Karina’s Junior Eurovision entry “Sertse Belarusi” back in 2008.  The JESC entry came in 6th place, but I doubt that the same strategy will work for Belarus this time around.

This song can go in one of two ways: either it stays in more or less its current format, which will likely end up with “I Am Belorussian” at the bottom of the scoreboard, or they can revamp its presentation, camp the hell out of it, recycle Verka Serduchka’s old outfits from Ukraine 2007, and turn this outdated and awkward song into a tongue-in-cheek ode to a Post-Soviet state whose main exports could be disco balls and glitter.  But, then again, Belarus isn’t known for its self-deprecating humor, is it?

UPDATE!: A video uncovered by my friends and colleagues over at ESCKaz.com shows “Born in Byelorussia” being performed at a university function back in May of 2010, months before any entries are allowed to be revealed.  Last year, a similar situation happened with the Ukrainian entry, resulting with the song being replaced.  Will the same thing happen to Belarus?  The author of the updated song is claiming that, because of the change in lyrics, the song should be considered a new entry altogether, but EBU rules explicitly state that no song should be performed, in whole or in part, before September 1 of the previous year, even if the lyrics, arrangement, or staging are changed dramatically.  Failure to comply with this could lead to disqualification.  This story is still developing, and I’ll try my best to stay on top of it for you all.

“I’m gonna make it my way
Just getting stronger each day
I’m from Belarus so I say
I’m Belorussian

I feel so good to be free
Honor is what you can see
My love’s as deep as the sea
I’m Belorussian”

Belarus is another recent entry into the world of Eurovision. Since entering in 2004 (the same year as Albania, in fact), the nation has only qualified for the finals once, in 2007, with Dimitry Koldun’s “Work Your Magic“, which resulted in a 6th place finish. Some people think that Koldun’s success that year came from his vocal prowess, or his popularity throughout the former Soviet Bloc from his time on “Star Factory”, an “Idol”/”Operación Triunfo”-type show, or his song, which could have been ripped straight from a James Bond opening sequence.

But I think it was his mullet, personally.

You simply can’t argue with hair like that, can you?

Despite Minsk’s best efforts, they haven’t been able to break out of the semifinals again. Even last year’s valiant effort, “Eyes That Never Lie” by Petr Elfimov, couldn’t make it to the finals, even though Elfimov’s performance included one of the coolest pieces of live camerawork I think I’ve ever seen. Check this out:

That’s right…a camera operator riding a Segway at full speed down the center aisle of Moscow’s Olympic Indoor Arena, dismounts halfway up a ramp to the stage, circles Elfimov, and then zooms in on the guitarist (again, with amazing hair…must be a requirement in Belarus), all without falling all over himself (as I surely would have done)! Now, I’m not an expert in cinematography, but that’s pretty sweet!

So, what does 2010 bring us?

Belarus’s national selection process this year was (to put it mildly) a bit of a mess. As I mentioned in a previous post, the Eurovision Song Contest is sponsored by the European Broadcasting Union (EBU), which has associate members in all participating countries. Only participating members may sponsor a national song. In Belarus’s case, the Belarusian Television and Radio Company (BTRC) had been sponsoring the national entries over the past few years. However, for the 2010 Contest, another station, Obshchenatsional’noe Televidenie (ONT), decided that they would apply for EBU membership and choose the Belarussian Eurovision entry. This decision was partially influenced by President Lukashenko himself, after years of middling results at the contest. ONT even had an in-depth selection process set up, called the “Musical Court”, when the EBU suddenly denied ONT’s membership. Belarus scrambled to a decision and ended up returning to BTRC, who held an internal selection and chose “Far Away” by 3+2, an ensemble who had actually come in second in the “Musical Court” selection.

Seems easy enough, right? Wrong!

On March 19th, with only three days left before the EBU’s deadline for countries to solidify their selection, BTRC switched “Far Away” for “Butterflies”, a pretty, yet somewhat vanilla ballad. I was just beginning to like “Far Away”, so for it to be replaced with this is a bit of a 180-degree shift.

I make no guarantees, but I don’t see Belarus breaking back into the Finals with this one. It doesn’t matter much to me if Belarus submits pop, a ballad, rock, or folk…I think I’m most upset by the absence of mullets.